Thursday, August 11, 2011


It's getting to be that time! YES! School is back in session. Not only is C a student (Pre-K) but I am also a student in a nursing program. I go back before he does and this is my last year. C is going into his third year of Pre-K. I'm so excited! He loves school. This year will be especially important because it will be his last year with the teacher that he is so familiar with and he has a new Aide. It was important for me to get him a new aide THIS year so that:

1. He can get to know her before he goes into kindergarten (new classroom, new teacher).
2. His current teacher who has known him for two years can help Ms. S (the aide) get to know C better.

So as he finishes up his last round of summer school, my anticipation grows as does his boredom. C thrives on routine. Don't most ASD kids? I'm looking forward to his last year in Pre-K but also a little worried. Everything will be different after this year. EVERYTHING! I'll graduate and get a job and he'll be in school all day with a new teacher and new friends. I'm nervous for him! All I can do is think positive and hope that kids see him for the funny happy child that he is! My little boy is growing up! (Insert a happy/sad face)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Haircut = Autism

C was due for a haircut. He always has a hard time with this. Sitting still, feeling the cold scissors against your hairline, the sound of the cutting. It's all a little overwhelming. This time however, his stylist came prepared. She had been thinking about how to make it easier for him. She asked me if I minded his hair short. I said "Not at all!" I didn't realize that she mean buzz cut short. By the time I realized what she was doing, it was too late. I didn't ever want C to have a buzz cut. I have to admit though, I love it! The haircut looks great, it looks great on him (makes him look like a big boy), and it only took five minutes with NO TEARS! So it really perplexed me when I felt this overwhelming sadness after it was done. It took me a day or so to figure it out. Some time ago I had attended an Autism awareness event. As I looked round I noticed many of the boys had buzz cuts. I made the connection right away that the autism caused some discomfort for these guys during a hair cut. It was then that I thought I wanted to make sure C doesn't HAVE to get a buzz. I didn't want the autism to stop him from having a normal haircut. Now, looking at his buzzed head, I see an autistic boy.

Before I continue, I have to tell you that I'm not proud of this. I struggle often with keeping my focus. I LOVE my little boy and appreciate his different abilities. There always seems to be a part of me that mourns what life could have been. I'm human, it's hard to not mourn for that.

So as I looked at his little buzzed head, I see the enjoyment in his face of knowing how cute he is. I see him touch it and stroke it feeling the sensation on his fingertips. I see him look in the mirror and make silly faces in his one man show. I think of the giggling I heard during the hair cut; a much different noise than any other I've heard during grooming. I heard and saw a little boy really, REALLY enjoying himself! That is enough for me to let go of any icky feelings I had. He's happy = Mommy's happy!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I really hate for C to watch television all day. Most of the time when it's on we're not even watching. It's more just background noise. I did find a line of videos that helped immensely! They are the Baby Bumblebee videos and they are awesome! There are five basic vocabulary word videos. So they say a word, such as ball. Not only do they say the word but they have kiddos on the video playing with a ball and saying the word. They show the kids playing and show random pictures of cartoon basketballs, real soccer balls. Also, they show the word on the screen.  Each video progresses to larger, harder words. After the vocab series, it moves to action words. Action series 1 starts out with tickle. It shows two children tickling each other, a girl tickling a teddy bear and they still say the word along with showing the word on the screen. Not only did this expand C's vocabulary, but it increased his understanding of the vocabulary. That is the key. You can teach someone a word but if there is no meaning behind it, it's worthless. I didn't know it when he was watching these videos, however, now we have found out that C can read. At four years old he can read and comprehend most of what he is reading. I say most because he'll read words such as Microsoft Corporation and not understand the meaning behind it. If he reads "Jane is a silly girl." He'll make his embarrassed face because he understands the meaning behind silly. I love Baby Bumblebee videos! C also fell in love with the Alphabet video, Colors video, Opposites and 1 2 3's videos. He recently got a new one titled "Question words". It's a little much for him but I can see he is taking it all in and just waiting to use it another time. They have a whole section dedicated to Autism videos! Kudos to you, Baby Bumblebee videos!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

But we will!

I wanted to explain the meaning behind the title of my blog. C asks for A LOT of store, waterpark, zoo, Miss K's (code for his daycare). He asks for these places everyday and usually more than once. C doesn't understand someday or later. My fix to this was to respond with "No, we're not going to the waterpark today...but we will another day." So now when he asks to go somewhere and I say "Not today." He responds with "But we will." The conversation goes like this:

C: Go to waterpark? Yes, please!
M: Not today
C: But weeee wiiiiillllll!

He exagerates the words we and will. It's adorable. It also makes me think of our life in general. Autism sometimes stops us from hitting a developmental goal. So today we can't quite reach the finish line.....but weeeee wiiiiilllllll!!!!

10 minutes in heaven

We had a small festival in our neighborhood last week. It's not much of anything but they did have a bounce house. This is C's idea of heaven. He bounces and laughs and pretends to fall. He feels weightless at times and the pressure on the joints when he jumps is great for his moods. So they say that it's $2 for 10 minutes or $5 for all day. Well duh...I'll take the all day please! C enters the bounce house. He's one of the first five kiddos in there. Immediately the bounce house collapses! The grandparents of the other four kids and I scramble to get all the kids out. After everyone was accounted for and it inflated up again, the people running the house sent in a few teenagers. They bounced and grabbed the walls and could not make it collapse. We reluctantly sent the kiddos back in. This time it stayed up! My kiddo starts to laugh and bounce and play out some cartoon that he has seen in the past. His ten minutes passes and we take him out for a safety break. It was already HOT HOT HOT out! He drank water and then was allowed back in. The heat is starting to get to him. After this session we head home only on the promise that we will return later in the day. As I walk home with C in the jogger he reminds me, repeatedly, that he wants to go back to the bounce house.

Later in the day we head back down. Armed with water and a sleeveless t-shirt he gets back in. When he jumped for 8 minutes and then asked for a break I knew that it was too hot for him. I gave him a break and then let him back in. Sweaty, red and panting now I tell him that it's time to go. Flailing and screaming "HELP" I manage to get him to the car (I drove this time). His 10 minutes of heaven behind us he sits in his seat and cries while trying to drink cold water. The heat has proven us incapable of working through autism. This has been our experience with the zoo as well. My kiddo is a fall, winter and spring kinda guy. I'm okay with that. You see, Momma is a red head with no tolerance to the sun. So kiddo and I are a match made in heaven...or match made in a bounce house :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011


Summer in our house means chaos...chaos because C has issues with being bored. For example as I type  this he is singing every song he knows. He has already ate breakfast, watched a morning cartoon, then watched an educational video, played with his cars, asked to go to the pool, asked for the zoo, and asked for the waterpark. All before 8am. Luckily there is a small festival down the road. It will have balloon animals, face painting and a few games. None of those will matter to C. What he wants is the bounce house. So I will have to remind him that we have to take turns. It's not the waiting that bothers him as much as the getting out and waiting to take another turn. He feels that once he's in, he stays in until he's done. Today will be an interesting and trying time for him. He just walked his little tush over here and is asking for music on the computer. Off to a website where he can watch his favorite music videos of the songs he sings repeatedly. Summer, ugh!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bath time!

Last night was D's (The Daddy) turn to bathe the boy, C. C enters the bathroom and says "Bye Daddy", meaning he wants me, M (The Mommy) to give the bath. Mommy must holler less! Tonight though, it's D's turn and even though C wants me, he has to know that we are the parents and we make the decision. So C looks me square in the eyes (what was that about autism equaling no eye contact?) and says "Mommy, yes please. I promise" Okay so now I see that he gets what I promise sort of means. He knows that I am the one who says that and I am the one who follows up a promise. So he is hoping that by making this statement I'll run into the bathroom because two weeks ago I may have said this. However, tonight I'm thinking clearly and I respond "I'll give you a bath tomorrow night. I promise!"

With that, he turns his little tush towards the bathroom and says Hi to D. It feels good when I am smarter than the four year old. I also threw in a promise that D wouldn't yell tonight (Man I am ON IT tonight!) So it's a yell free bath and C comes out and says "Hi Mommy" just like it's been all day since he's seen me.

Love love love that cute little boy!